Do You Peek in Your Host’s Medicine Cabinet?

I mind my own medicine cabinet.

By this I mean that if I go to your house, I will not lock the door and run the water loudly in the bathroom sink as a cover so I can rummage through the shelves behind the mirror.

This puts me in the minority.

A recent survey for Sony found that when people come to visit, 70% are not averse to sticking their buttinsky in your medicine cabinet.

What are medicine-cabinet gumshoes hoping to find?

While allowing for personal preferences, I think any of the following items would have your average privacy prospector crying eureka:

* Viagra (the bigger the bottle, the better).

* Hair dyes and fertilizers.

* Evidence of exotic rashes.

* Prescriptions (of any kind).

* Laxatives (again, large quantities a plus).

* Any type of paraphernalia that would fall under the general heading: Where the Sun Don’t Shine.

While my own medicine cabinet does not include much of the above--and I assume I have a wide range of friends and relatives who can attest to this--the survey did get me to wondering what a guest reviewer might discover.

So I conducted an inventory. I found the cabinet contained very little medicine. There was, however, a lot of other stuff:

* Nose-hair trimmer (no battery).

* AA battery (dead).

* Band-Aids, peroxide, gauze (we get hurt a lot).

* Heartworm pills (I think these are for the dog).

* Drops (ears, eyes, nose, cough).

* Ointments (let’s just leave it at that).

* Plastic drinking glass (which I wouldn’t use if you put a gun on me).

* Mouthwash (one swig left).

* Cotton balls (loose).

* Toothpaste (two tubes, one cap).

* Plastic apparatus (unable to identify).

* Sponge (hard).

* Free samples (assorted).

* Pliers (needle-nose).

* Bar of soap (welded to shelf).

* Deodorant (Arrid, Sheer Dry, Aqua Spicy).

* Spoon.

* Toilet water (literally?).

* Eyebrow pencil (unraveling).

* Suntan lotion (still covered with sand).

* Pepto Bismol (once knew a fighter who called himself Pepto Dismal).

* Large square tin of something called Bag Balm.

* Razors (five face, three leg, one electric--no battery).

* Dark brown bottle (I think it’s stuff to make you throw up).

* Hairbrush (see plastic drinking-glass comment).

* Potpourri and candle (My wife has this uncle . . .).

* Shea is a columnist at the Hartford Courant. To reach him write to Jim Shea, Hartford Courant, 285 Broad St., Hartford, CT 06115.